All that glitters is not gold, it's diamonds

Dev- In the Dark

Adele- Rumor Has it

Kazaky- Love

Kazaky- In the Middle

Lady Gaga- Judas

Neon Hitch- Get over you

*advisory: this article contains crude quips, suggestive dialogue, and informational topics of a sensitive nature. If you are easily offended or insecure with your own sexuality, I suggest you avoid this and break out your copy of See Spot Run. It might hold closer to your values and not rattle the foundation of your ivory tower. However if you like queer culture or want to know a little more about its history read on and enjoy, you won’t find this on the history channel….

To my young gay/gay friendly comrades, new or old, welcome to the road less traveled and slightly forgotten: The ways and plays of the gay handkerchief code. In the immortal words of the mother of electrophuck music: Peaches: “you better know your hanky code, before you go and shoot your load”. (from the song ‘Hanky Code’ by Peaches)

Our people once upon a time used this elaborate sequence of color coding fabric handkerchiefs or ‘hankys’ to indicate their sexual interests and preferences for an evening, yes an evening, you could totally change your flavor of the day :)  . First they started with a pocket side: left meaning dominant right discerning a recessive role desired. In layman’s terms folks left was the ‘pitcher’ and right was the ‘catcher’. 

This of course was always up to changing positions and was typically meant as a conversation starter. Should you share the same interest for the evening or in general you’d be more approachable; not only because of your clear display but also because it identified you as homosexual.

Remember kids, this was long before the onset of Myspace hookups, Craigslist slumming, or the geographical pinpointing and prescreening of your next victim,er…, hookup via Grindr. This was pretty legit sh!t back in the day. From what I’ve gathered it was used primarily in larger cities (of course, because thats what you did back when you knew you were gay. You’dve hopped the next train/bus/donkey to new-los-francisco and find the nearest fabled queer street USA to find your new home amongst the fairies.)

You’d have a leg up knowing the code to see who was benign and who was seriously cruising. Sadly this was often sometimes the only way you’d know someone was gay aside from seeing their face on the other side of a gloryhole. We take for granted the recently exposed freedoms and comforts (however minimal they may be) the LGBT community has attained. Not long ago, not only being gay was punishable by incarceration, it could land you in your local looney bin in line for a lobotomy. We’ve come a long way from being treated as guinea pig trash, but now we’re closer to second class novelties than being shot at for fun (at least in this country). 

Sorry, ranting again. Just threw that last bit in there for a bit of food for thought about how amazing the drive for unity amongst our forefairies was. Anyways, back to the rainbow.

From what I could find, the code itself has a few different variations with itself, but remain pretty much the same. Granted this was long before the media exposure of fetish and fancy sex-play, so you have to take into account that these men and women were years ahead of their time in their own sexual revolution. Not only were they clearly aware of themselves and widely open with their sexuality, they flaunted it in public. Should we ever call ourselves liberal in any sense, we should take a moment to compare then reevaluate that statement before it is said. These people were the real pioneers of sexuality and being open, brave individuals. 

Okay now, what you’ve been waiting for. The code itself: behold my friends. The not-so-ancient-but-still-fascinating-nonetheless Hanky Code. (note this is just a version i found. they have gotten much more elaborate over time and should you do your own research you’ll find codes that go much further in depth with patterns and less specific non-widely recognized fetish/preference). 

NOTE: if you don’t know what the sexual fetish is or are easily offended about sexuality or fetishes in general, i’d avoid reading this code. it might burst your little bubble and send you into some sort of shock. Its pretty well defined and goes in-depth into sexual fetishes expressed and practiced by BOTH heterosexual and homosexual couples. These are not forms of perversion created by the gays, they’re simply just more open and comfortable with expressing their sexuality than a large majority of the public. Utilize this as a historical reference to the perseverance and creative spirit that lay in the gay community of the 70’s when being gay wasn’t safe and was widely condemned. 

Freakin neat huh? Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: so did gangs take their codes from this? Truth is I have not the slightest clue, but I’d love to see a 90’s gang member with two medium blue bandanas in his right pocket. That’d sure be one hell of a conversation starter on the streets of LA, don’t you think?

Do I smoke? No. But this friends is a rare piece of Americana. Its a real working cigarette Machine complete with viginia slims and newport lights. Yes. it made my night when i found one of these still exists in working use today at a dive pizza place/casino (yes, i typed that right).  I take great joy in knowing that old things still work well. No, i’m not an advocate for smoking, but its a small piece of nostalgia that made my day, kind of like the actual phone booths that are downtown sioux falls. I mean really? Now it may not be a trip to australia or skydiving for the first time, but the small adventures you take each day are what make life worth living each day. Yes, the aforementioned has an appeal of life changing circumstances, but the little adventures within are what really make memories. Thank you to Kali Cook for such an adventure today. 

In lieu of easter tradition of serving to the world the  holiday gluttonfest then going to the Icehouse to drink ourselves to blackout remnants of the earlier events of the day; kali and i tried new places and faces as a replacement to our Yankton fun. And thats where we found this little gem. Along with Sunday Night Karaoke at the Nickle Spot (which serves GrainBelt for 2.25!)  we discovered the local barflies can’t sing alannah myles’ Black Velvet if their life depended on it, Restaurants/pizzarias/casinos serve not only a pretty decent pizza but also the best customer service i’ve had in years, and Saved By The Bell had better not do a movie beyond a montage of the college years. Unless Zach Morris comes out as a raging homosexual, I wouldnt buy tickets. Aside from finding these little holes in the walls entertaining and useful for a quickie socialization session, i’m glad that i could spend the holiday with a friend that i truly consider family. Thanks Sioux Falls for having places like these and I cant wait for my next adventure to find another old piece of sh!t that takes my breath away, and no Kali, i don’t mean you. xxo

p.s. Mission for the year: PBR in a can served at a bar with barfood. AND…………..GO!

Wishing someone a happy holiday is becoming trickier with time. Blending of cultures and the watering down of our once predominant puritanical society has forced me to seriously reconsider wishing anyone a happy anything other than Friday or ‘day’ for that matter.

I’m not really offended in any way when people wish me Happy Christian holidays, but find it unusual that other people I know are of differing denominations don’t wish me well on their holidays. I mean what about Jewish holidays, Muslim holidays or pagan ritual celebrations for that matter. I mean honestly, when was the last time you heard someone say ‘Happy Buddhist New Year!’ or ’ blessed goat sacrifice day!’…?

Nothing? Yeah, thought so. Not once-save that time I went to a rave and it turned out to be one of those ‘vampire parties’ where they blast loud techno and act all stealthy serious in trench coats and various amounts of pleather….. I digress, we’ll save that for another time. I know everyone in America likes to pretend Christian events are the most important all around being printed on every calendar known to man, but I personally would like to hear more “Happy” everything. Happy Monday, Happy rainy day, Happy STFU day, or Happy Rex Manning Day!

Is anyone else down with creating a Rex Manning Day, I mean a legit day, for real? Unless you’ve seen Empire Records, which I highly recommend you do if you haven’t, otherwise the reference will be lost on you. Think of it as the day Murphy of Murphy’s Law fame would have celebrated in the grandest of styles. In the movie its the day when the characters have a b-list celebrity come to their place of employment and everything that could go wrong that day….does. After shenanigans and a few plot holes follow through the entire crew lets go of their differences and everyone makes happy. 

Back to the point. I think we’re getting lost on our manners though folks. Wishing someone a happy holiday is only polite manners and everyone should be able to do it, regardless of their belief, denomination, or personal desire to wish everyone ‘Happy Have-A-Bad-Day day! (Nov. 19th, fyi). So in short, if you’re Christian wish everyone and their mother a Happy Easter, but be aware that I’m probably going to wish you a Happy Gay Pride week if you’re straight or not and maybe even tease you a bit at Play God Day ( Jan. 9). 

Whatever the day just share a positive thought and a smile. Even if the person you’re sharing it with thinks you’re a deutschbag, they’ll still likely remember the gesture and maybe learn a little something about you to avoid wishing an Atheist a Merry Christmas or a vegan Happy Pig Day…..but again, I digress. I leave you with a close friend celebrating in her own intoxicated way, National Cupcake Day. Get it gurl. 

Alright folks. Sit down and click open your Facebook Friends list. Yes, I mean it, you’re logged on right now and you know it. 

Got a 1000 friends you sexy, popular thing, you..? Yeah, statistically speaking, 100 of them like to ‘dittle the skittle’ with the same sex -if you catch my drift. Yes, statistics aside, we’re here and queer and though you’re ‘used to it’, how accepting are you really, if at all?

Our most recent pop-goddess deity (Lady Gaga if you aren’t aware) has taken it upon herself to fight the good fight and with major media on her side youth today has the opportunity to live a life with positive LGBT role models. A far cry from the Queer Eye queens and pre-cool Ellen that I had growing up. 

In short, the gay agenda is more visible than ever, thanks in large part to the dissemination of information via the internet superhighway. Thankfully there’s 1000’s of outlets for lgbt teens via the internet to understand, accept, and learn from today. Whereas, before the existence of Gaga, go go boys and It Gets Better Videos, teens like myself had to struggle with our sexuality solely on our own terms. Sure it may have made us better people, but shit, how much easier would it have been to know that you’re not alone out there? 

Take a moment now and reflect. Sexuality aside, how supportive of you are of your friends and their lives? No, not what they choose to do, but who they are as a whole person. Would you stand in your best friend/sister/cousin’s gay wedding? Could you offer advice to a gay friend about sex and relationships? Can you smile when you see a gay couple kiss or hold hands in public? Depending on your prude factor you should be able to say yes to all of these, because in reality being gay is really no different than being straight. We want to love and be loved exactly like you. We want to live, be safe, successful, maybe even have a family however we choose. Just like you. 

Now, get off your high horse folks and walk amongst the commoners for a moment. Smile at that couple who just snuck a kiss when walking down the street and applaud them for their affection, gay, straight, or vegetable. We’d all live in a better world that gave kudos to displays of kindness and love rather than mocking and being condecending on something so purely beautiful. We should only be so lucky to share that same feeling the couple did just moments ago at least once in our lives. 

Now get out there and share some glitter. Its a helluva lot prettier than smearing the sh!t that’s the result of ridicule and judgement. Plus I’m pretty sure glitter is less harmful to the environment…..its a twofer!

nevver:

Orthodox

If we were taught anything as children it was to share. First it started as a way for our parents to keep us from becoming self centered egomaniacal sociopaths who covet the best toys and lash out at rival children, but its a value as adults we need to practice more often. So, in the spirit of actually taking my own advice, I’m going to share with the internet. Read, comment, poke fun. Its what this is for, a forum for human interaction and growth. Maybe we can learn a little something from one another and have a laugh along the way. I hope you like gay jokes and inappropriate comments though, otherwise this might not be your cup of tea. Think of this as my glittertastic contribution to society. Yeah, glitter. That sh!t that gets everywhere and never fully goes away. I know, (insert stereotypical gay quip here), I like glitter okay? My theory is that if you’ve got the flame, it might as effing well burn bright. 

Big sunglasses encouraged :)